He fully loves you, and fully knows you. There are no hidden agendas, no malice or wrong intent, only love. He cannot operate in any other way towards us, other than in love, because that is who he is. God is love. – 1 John 4:16
Pray with me…
– denise marie 🩷
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Pray with me…
~denise marie🩷
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Pray with me…
~denise marie🩷
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
In mourning’s embrace, a spirit’s rebirth…
In the darkest hour,
where shadows loom,
Faith’s ember flickers,
dispelling gloom.
A journey through the night,
guided by belief,
Grief and faith entwined,
offering relief.
The heartache’s dance,
a solemn waltz,
Yet faith persists,
its melody exalts.
With each teardrop,
a prayer takes flight,
Uniting grief and faith
in the quiet of night.
– denise marie
A family member passed away this past week….
Grief is complex, with many highs and lows, the waves of emotions tend to hit me as uncontrollable tears flow. As a believer, I know she is in heaven, no longer in pain and at peace. Yet, I still feel such a loss, a void. a sadness that I think she never really would’ve imagined how much her passing would affect me.
Her light, unconditional love, words of encouragement and friendship, will leave a lasting mark on my heart forever. Thank you for being such a gift.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4.
The Sunset and prayer…
I took this beautiful picture of the sunset during my daughter’s soccer game. I am so grateful for it’s beauty.
Today, I reflect on Gods promises and His truth. He is faithful and he sustains me. I look to Him, the creator of heaven and earth and I am in awe of His everlasting love.
– denise marie
A promise of artistic possibilities….
This afternoon, I took my first ceramics class.
As I entered the room, my anticipation and nervousness heightened as the Teacher went over the instructions.
Timidly, my hands met the cool clay, this lesson was filled with patience, mistakes, a few setbacks and definitely no room for perfection.
I was filled with pure joy and satisfaction as I transformed uncertainty into a piece of art.
- denise marie
Slow down…and listen to the beat of your own heart…
my hope comes from him. – Psalm 62:5
It’s beautiful to be still in
the midst of a busy world,
allowing my mind
to slow down
just enough to
process each thought,
minute by minute
inhaling fully then
exhaling slowly
listening to the beat
of my own heart,
lulling me with peace.
—denise marie
*picture of me taken in Washington State.
Grateful for self-care…
A few months ago I fell and injured my back and knee. Recovery has been a frustrating teeter-tottering battle, with some days I feel great, while other days I can barely walk, sit or stand without being in pain.
The last couple of days have been difficult and I found myself in pain, but pretending that everything was ok.
By doing this, I did not take care of my own needs, and I didn’t allow others to help me (codependency 🤦🏽♀️) which only made my pain worse.
My sponsor in celebrate recovery once asked me, “what’s the next right thing?”
The next right thing I did, was to be honest with my feelings, ask for help, rest, take things moment by moment (stay present) do Breathwork to help calm my nervous system and stay prayerful.
I am grateful for self-care.🩷
– denise marie
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. – Romans 12:12
An evening Train ride…
On Friday evening, my daughter and I took an Amtrak train home from the Bay Area to Sacramento. It was her first time on the train, which brought back memories of the first time I took my 3 sons on a train ride over 20 years ago from Washington State to California.
As the train quickly moved along from city to city, I was able to watch the sun dip below the horizon, painting the sky with warm hues, I was filled with so much peace and gratitude as I engulfed myself completely into the serene and captivating experience.
I am so grateful.🩷
-denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Road Trips…
Yesterday we were on our way to see family in the Bay from Sacramento, old school music on the radio, blue skies and a smooth ride as many people were on the road heading to their destinations to enjoy their Thanksgiving day.
A wave of excitement came over me when I saw the Wind Turbines, because it means that we are almost there!
At times it’s hard to not live near family, but I am so grateful for a quick trip to the Bay or to Washington State.
Visiting family is a refuel to my soul!🩷
– denise marie
Gratitude in nature…
As I was taking a walk, I stepped on these leaves that had fallen from the tree. The sound of the crunch beneath my feet brought a huge smile across my face and an instant feeling of tingling happiness.
It brought me back to my childhood living in Seattle, where I would fall backwards into a pile of leaves that were newly raked in front of our house.
Reminiscing on these memories, I could literally hear the sound of laughter that filled the air with pure joy!
I’m so grateful for today and for taking a moment to be present within the beauty of nature, I honor you God, the creator of such a gift.🩷
– denise marie
So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed. -John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Admiring Art…can be nervous system regulating.
On Tuesday, I was running errands and for no reason that I could pinpoint, I started feeling a bit overwhelmed, instead of allowing the anxiety to heighten, I decided to shift my attention by “looking” for the beauty around me.
I began to notice artwork in the community, and realized that within the pleasurable experience of viewing art, lies the ability to evoke a sort of euphoric mood that calmed my nervousness. The Art literally seemed to communicate with me, using a language that captured the essence of the human experience, it allowed me to see the world through the lens of a different perspective.
I truly appreciate the gift of art🩷
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Finding joy in the Zentangle Pattern…
Last night I took a Mindfulness and Gratitude through the Visual Arts Class.
I learned about the Golden Ratio and Zentangle Patterns.
I was able to create my own Zentangle pattern which allowed me to be present, with no expectations, no right or wrong and no judgement. I was free.🩷
This form of Art Therapy gave me so much joy! It helped me to calm my mind, breathe deeply and simply relax.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Self-care Muse…
In the realm of self-care, I find my retreat, a sanctuary where my soul finds its beat.
A gentle reminder to tend to my needs, to nourish my spirit, to let it be freed.
I start with a moment, a pause in my day, to breathe in the calm, let worries drift away.
Inhaling the peace, exhaling the stress, creating space for my mind to find rest.
I listen to my body, its whispers and cues, honoring its limits, refusing to abuse.
I nourish with kindness, with wholesome delight, feeding it with love, each day and each night.
I bathe in self-love, a warm, soothing embrace, letting go of judgment, accepting my grace.
With sunlight aglow, casting a soft, gentle light, I surrender to stillness, embracing with such delight.
I move with intention, in rhythm and flow, dancing away worries, letting my spirit grow.
Expressing my emotions through graceful motion, releasing the tension, embracing the notion.
I seek solace in nature, its beauty and peace, walking in forests, where worries find release.
The whispering trees, the song of the birds, nature’s healing power, beyond any words.
I indulge in moments of pure, simple pleasure, reading a book, savoring each word and measure.
Escaping reality, entering new realms, where imagination soars and the heart overwhelms.
I surround myself with love, with cherished souls, creating connections that make me feel whole.
Sharing laughter and tears, in moments so rare, knowing that love is the ultimate self-care.
Self-care is a journey, a lifelong embrace, a commitment to oneself, a sacred space.
For in nurturing my soul, I find the key, to unlock the door to a life that’s carefree.
– denise marie
Spirit lead me…
These images and video clips were taken last weekend in Seattle.
When I visit, I often have a need to go to the water. There is so much peace I find in its presence.
“Thank You God for making it possible for me to experience peace at all times. Because You gave us Your Son, I always have a way to know and experience You. There is nothing that can separate me from Your loving presence”.
– denise marie
Engulfed fully by his love…
It took me a minute to settle down and calm my anxiety, but once I did my words flowed.
Writing and reading my poetry is good for my soul.
Titled, “Engulfed fully by his love”. – denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
po·et·ry…
Today..
I encourage you
to bravely,
peel back,
each layer,
revealing
the deep roots
of secrets that
have been gracefully
hidden.
In this place,
is where YOU have
remained concealed
beneath the pain
of your untold stories.
Surrender…
and allow
Gods love
and grace
to heal this
sacred space
in which you’ve
kept sealed.
– denise marie
Writing Poetry is truly one of my passions, it feels amazing to release words that at times have been hidden beneath insecurities, allowing my creativity to flow, sure does bring me joy.
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved writing, reading and listening to poetry. It was a common occurrence to see me with a pen and pad of paper jotting down my thoughts and eagerly reading them to my Mom. Looking through boxes in the storage closet, it’s fun to find journals filled with poems I’ve written as a child or teen. Recently I was looking through my yearbooks from high school and to my surprise (1987 was a long time ago.. lol! I had forgotten about this) I saw a poem I had written my Senior year in the yearbook.
Maya Angelou has always been an inspiration and I hope to one day publish my own book of poetry.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
What would YOU say to your younger self?
What I would say to my younger self…
You have the gift to
powerfully shine light
on darkness,
to set captives free
by the stroke of your
own pen.
– denise marie
No matter the circumstances of your past or what you may be currently facing, God says that he is able to use your gifts, your voice, your words, your life….to encourage others and give them hope.
I want to encourage YOU to show up in whatever space you are in and be your true authentic self, allowing your presence to make a difference in this world!
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Her own crown of beauty…
I wanted to share with you my poem titled “her own crown of beauty”. My prayer is that you no longer hide or shrink, but are comfortable in your own skin, accepting your own crown of beauty.💗
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Words of love…
I am learning that it is ok to take a deep breath,
and then slowly exhale as I gently smile at the
woman that I’m looking at in the mirror.
I’m encouraging her with words of love,
self acceptance and much grace.
– denise marie
It’s ok to get out of your comfort zone…
I decided to get out of my comfort zone and nervously read one of my poems in front of the camera.
Speaking in public or in front of a camera, causes me some anxiety and I normally find myself completely overthinking, being self-critical and sometimes talking myself out of it.
But not tonight.
I sat in my living room, didn’t fuss with the perfect application of makeup or the correct lighting. I just went for it….and because I did, it was a huge breakthrough for me!
You see, after surviving the pulmonary embolism, I struggled with the affects in my mind, emotions, and body. My brain seemed to be a bit different, very foggy, easily overwhelmed/overstimulated and anxiety. I struggled and sometimes still struggle with terrible fatigue, hair loss and extra weight gain. These things had began to mess with my confidence and I found myself beginning to hide a bit and shrink back from doing things that I used to do much easier in the past.
Being in my 50’s and a survivor of…well an overcomer of so many different challenges in my life, (past childhood trauma, stress etc.) I realize that it’s ok to not always be ok, but it’s not ok to be stuck in my circumstances. Taking things one day at a time, allows me to remove unrealistic expectations and letting go of my own pressure of perfectionism, the need to please others and making space for plenty of love and grace. Healing is a process and I am choosing to be present, every step of the way.
My hope is that I continue to show up and do things that make me uncomfortable.
This not so simple act of getting out of my own head, and doing things even if I am afraid or nervous is truly liberating.
Thanks for sharing this moment with me, it means a lot!
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Pulmonary Embolism…the Beach & Gratitude.
In 2020 I survived a Pulmonary Embolism, it was such a stressful, painful and scary time.
Since then, I’ve learned to really listen to my body and prioritize my mental, physical and spiritual health.
Visiting the beach with my family is one of my favorite things to do.
Walking on the sand, the smell of salt water, the breeze and watching the waves completely relaxes me and brings me joy.
I am truly grateful for the gift of life.
– denise marie
Prayer…Gratitude and the California Coast.
When anxiety heightens,
and worry tries to consume me.
In these moments I cry out to God and I’m quickly reminded of his promises.
He said he will never leave me or forsake me, my strong tower where I can find safety.
My rock, my refuge, my fortress and my hope.
His love protects me, surrounds me and never fails me.
This is where I find my peace and place my trust in him.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
The beauty of a sunset…
A few years ago, I was standing here watching the sunset.
I could hardly contain the flood of emotions that took over me.
I felt so small in its presence, the vastness of the evening sky and the depths of the Pacific Northwest Sound had me honoring the Creator of such astounding beauty.
As I stood there, I was surrounded in peace, and immersed completely in Gods love.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
What I would say to my younger self…
You have the gift to
powerfully shine light
on darkness,
to set captives free
by the stroke of your
own pen.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
My prayer today…
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. – John 3:16
Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Gratitude…
Each day brings a promise of something new…
be present and hold space…for gratitude.
– denise marie
This is the day the Lord has made. let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24
Slowing down enough…to hear my heartbeat…
My Covid 19 story…
I tested positive for Covid 19 on Saturday. The last few days have been extremely overwhelming and it seems as if I’ve experienced many of the symptoms on the list. When things got a bit scary I contacted my Doctor and due to my health risk factors, I was able to go to the hospital for an Monoclonal Antibodies Infusion.
When I arrived to the hospital I was told to wait outside and a nurse in PPE would come and get me. Soon after my arrival the nurse came and had me follow her to a “not for the public” side door into a stairwell which took me to a door that led to a long hallway and into a conference room that was section off by plastic.
It was only I and the nurse in this room and as much as she tried to make me feel comfortable, it was a bit eerie.
She did the basics; temperature check, blood pressure check, oxygen levels using a pulse oximeter then went on to explain the details of the infusion. Soon after, I received my infusion in my left arm and after an hour and a half my husband picked me up from the hospital and went home.
The following day after my infusion, I still struggled with many Covid symptoms, but my fever finally broke. SO very grateful!
Today is day 5 and I’m still testing positive. Its been hard to be quarantined and feeling lousy in my room away from my family, But I’m happy to say that my symptoms are improving! I believe that the infusion has really helped my body to continue to fight this virus.
Being in my room quarantined, it’s amazing how the mind plays tricks on you. I really had to pray, reach out to my family and watch uplifting & funny shows on tv to stay encouraged. So glad this is only temporary.
To be intentionally loved is a gift from God.
I received these beautiful flowers from my husband. He, my kids & family have been so encouraging and loving as I heal and rest. I’m blessed to have family near while I’m quarantined and recovering.
Tomorrow is a new day and I’m looking forward to a negative test and complete recovery soon!
Thank you Jesus for your love, protection and healing💗
Just keep standing…mental health awareness.
I just wanted to send a word of encouragement out to those who are feeling weary, feeling as if they have been fighting this battle for way too long. When the thought of standing up to the health challenges, loneliness, financial strain, grief, depression, anxiety, any circumstance or situation that may have you feeling like you can’t continue on. I want you to know that you are not alone. That there is hope and help is near.
There were many days in my life that if I could just believe that it was possible for me to “just keep standing” I could. To just keep standing wasn’t necessarily always physical but yet mentally and emotionally.
On those hard days, I would call a trusted friend or family member for support, or I would schedule an appointment with my therapist. I would attend a Recovery meeting when those memories of past trauma were just too much.
And…I would go to God in prayer and read His Word, one of my favorite chapters I would read daily is Psalm 91 in which I would literally say out loud, “God you are my refuge, I know that I can trust in you, you are my strength and I am safe.”
Today, my hope and prayer is that you can “Just keep standing”.
***For immediate help please call or text the following Mental Health & Crisis line at: 988
– denise marie💗
serenity….
Serenity is a welcomed friend,
who embraced my soul
with healing.
– denise marie
While visiting Washington State. My brother-in-law brought us to this beautiful serene location just outside of Tacoma. As we walked along the trail surrounded by tall tree’s we immediately were immersed by peace as we basked in its presence.
The beach…a gift to be treasured.
I recently took a drive with two of my kids to a beautiful beachfront in Northern California called Dillon Beach.
Being at the Ocean, I feel free! Laughing so hard as I skip around the beach, searching for seashells and taking in every detail of its beauty.. What a gift to be treasured…it will always be my happy place. 💙
to become…
She is called my beloved…
The beauty of….a sunset.
I cherish the surreal vastness of the sunset in all its shades of oranges and reds alongside blues with yellows. I give thanks and honor every lesson that my day brought me. I forgive those who tried to make me feel small and I forgive myself for allowing disappointment or unrealistic expectations to rule over my peace of mind. I choose to acknowledge my hurt, process my feelings and forgive.
I welcome the darkness of the night sky as I find rest and replenish my body, knowing that in the morning I will be greeted by the light of day.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
in awe…of beauty
I am in awe of the glorious sunrise as it casts its golden hue across the morning sky. As I look around, I see the beauty around me and embrace the gift of life.
I choose to live my life fully and contently as I continue to grow, learn, love and honor its sacredness.
– denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Your presence matters…
YOU matter….
Even when you feel like no one notices or cares. Your presence on this Earth is important…your voice, your opinion, your ideas, your disappointments, your shortcomings, your accomplishments, your defeats, your best qualities and your worst character defects, your talents, your stories, your laughter, your hugs, your smile. Every aspect of YOU, is a gift to this world. You are valued, cherished and needed.
And even when it doesn’t always feel like it…
I encourage you to grab on and hold tight to this truth…YOU are loved…overwhelmingly loved, undeniably loved, forever loved.💗
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
holding space…for yourself.
Holding space means that you are reserving your energy to be emotionally and mentally present for yourself or others in a safe, nonjudgemental environment.
It means, setting boundaries so that you can protect your peace. Setting aside time to tune into your needs and become more self-aware. It means that you are giving yourself space to be yourself fully without judgment. To listen to your mind and body and support yourself in the best way you can.
Ways you could practice holding space for yourself could be:
• Schedule time in your regular routine to journal how you’re feeling
• Setting reminders on your phone to periodically check in with your physical and emotional state, whatever it may be, from a place of nonjudgemental loving awareness
• Practicing mindfulness, praying, meditation or breathing exercises
• Engaging in any form of self-kindness – realizing you are human and that the emotions and feelings that come with that are something to embrace, not reject or feel guilty about.
– from https://lenasamford.com/how-to-hold-space-for-yourself-and-others/
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
un·a·pol·o·get·i·cal·ly in a manner that does not acknowledge or express regret.
It’s ok to rise….from anything or anyone who makes you feel small, unheard, not seen or valued.
Always remember that your voice, your story and your very existence matters.💗
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
it’s not my only story…
Worthy….
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
equipped….
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
to hold space…
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
fills my soul with healing…
When I stopped trying to fill up
every space within me with busyness,
stillness became a welcomed friend
who embraced my soul with healing.
~ denise marie
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
I am her…
– John 8:36
There was a time, that I didn’t identify with the one who stared at me daily in the mirror.
Sometimes I didn’t like her, other times I felt like I didn’t really know her and many times didn’t understand her. She found herself lost between living to please others and resenting her continued self-sacrifice, even at the cost of her well being.
Ultimately betraying herself.
Numerous times she tried to free her true self, but found it difficult to come out from under the deep despair of childhood trauma and shame.
Today, she realizes it’s ok to choose Her.
She now, carefully cradles her heart, whispering powerful words of truth dripped in non-judgmental love and grace.
She is no longer hidden beneath the layers of trauma, she is emerging, growing and nurturing each space within the weight of her being.
She no longer identifies as an outsider, but acknowledges Her name.
The name her Mother, lovingly graced her with in 1969.
Her name is Denise Marie and I am her.
Evolving…
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
self-care = love💗
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
#nolongerheldcaptive
Painting = peace…
Painting brings me a sense of peace. It allows me to free my mind and to be present.
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
Repeat after me…
“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed”. – John 8:36
No longer held captive 