25 likes on facebook..changed everything…

25 LIKES…9 COMMENTS…556 FRIENDS…

On August 8, 2014..I posted a video on my personal facebook page to share with the “world” that I had been sexually abused as a child.
The moment after I clicked “post”, I felt on top of the world! I had conquered my BIGGEST Fear!

Or so..I thought.

As the days went by, the euphoria lessened and I realized that my post made others uncomfortable. The small number of likes and comments crushed me and made the ugly root of rejection, fear and depression come to the surface of my heart.

As much as I told myself that I was doing my part for humanity by bringing “Awareness”. I desperately wanted everyone to SEE that “I” was a victim of sexual abuse and rape.

I thought I didnt want to be looked at differently. But actually, yes, I DO.

I want YOU to read my post and feel uncomfortable. I want YOU to look at the video and cringe as you look into the eyes of me as a child and see the blank stare and pain of an innocent child who was sexually abused.

I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and rape..

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. I have not watched the video but will try and watch it tonight. Dale

    1. Thanks Dale! And thanks for the reblog! Appreciate the support!

      1. How have things been going? Faith and I are doing a conference in Eden, NC September 12, 13 and 14. Have you had other opportunities besides blogging to share your story?

  2. I so understand. I was just telling my brother the other night, I can post a self photo on my Facebook page and the likes will be over 50 or so, but I post my book, Cult Child and my story of childhood torture and end up feeling like no one cares. No likes. No comments.

    But a realization came to me. When people have to face the trauma that another person has experienced, 9 times out of 10, it returns them to their own abuse, often times, abuse they never faced. So they scurry past, ignoring the post, and go watch football games or mindless shit like TMZ, or anything else so they can do to avoid, avoid, avoid.

    And this is part of why children continue to be abused. Complacency and shut down. It’s mental illness, apathy.

  3. It takes so much courage to let ourselves be seen as we really are. We have become so good at masking (if we even knew) our true selves. I understand that uncomfortable feeling of coming out and the terror of publishing my blog and stories. But once I tolerated that, it gave me such freedom and the survivors and supporters I’ve met has been so rewarding. I wouldn’t have had the joy of connecting with them otherwise. I’m very, very proud of you 🙂

    1. Thank you very much. I am going thru a huge process right now in my life as I am learning how to speak my truth, live my truth, and trust the truth. It is turning my world upside down, and God is restoring my heart. Thank you for being proud of me, it has taken me so long to get here, but I know this is truly my season and my time to walk in complete healing. What was used to try to destroy me, I will use to help others. Hugs!

  4. I can relate to so much of what you say. I really enjoy reading your blogs and the way they are written. I think you are incredible for breaking your silence about your abuse. I am anonymous on my blog because I have been warned I must be respectful of my family. Hold on, I am the one who was raped and molasted when I was 5 years old, don’t I have enough to deal with in putting together the prices of my broken life?? This still makes me angry. I have told my mother and step father that I will wait until I speak to my family face to face at the end of February. As soon as those convos happen, I’m going to be shouting it from the rooftops so they better be ready! I will not be silenced anymore – I want the world to know, people need to know this happens and it’s not right!

  5. Anonymous says:

    Denise,

    Thanks for sharing your stories. You’re more inspiring than you’ll ever know

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