Oh..the tangled web we weave..

“Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” ~ Sir Walter Scott

Children are most likely to be sexually abused by someone they know and trust…

This statement rings true in my own life. You see, I was molested by people who were closely involved in my life. There were no initial red flags saying “danger”.  I was taught to fear strangers, you know, to be afraid of the scary looking bad guy who might try to snatch me on the way to school. But I was not taught to be afraid of my childcare center teachers who required me and the other kids to remove our clothes, to take a nap. Or to be afraid of my best friend’s Grandpa who sneaked into the bedroom at night to fondle me. Or to be afraid of my babysitter’s daughter who would molest me in her closet. In each of these incidents, I was a little girl who had no reason to fear these trusted authority figures… until they touched me. My life went from normal to out of control. I did not feel safe in my own body. I no longer believed that I could be loved. I no longer looked to adults as a safe haven. Every relationship’s motive was questioned. I became withdrawn, would stop eating and would be called “bratty”. I went from the bubbly little girl, to a little girl who just didn’t know where she fit in.

The deceit was presented to me little by little, laced in a pretty little box full of “good” things. When I was showered with love, attention and kindess, it gave me every reason to trust them. The powerful tools of deception forced me to keep the secret hidden.

The weight of this bondage was tremendous but once I was able to reveal the TRUTH, than, I was able to walk in the direction of healing and restoration.

Believing the truth…first starts with admitting the truth.

It took me 40 years to share my childhood sexual abuse and rape story, and on April 5, 2012, it was the beginning of my NEW Story.

 

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. Reblogged this on Speakingtruthinlove's Blog and commented:
    It is time for Christians to take off the ignorance and arm ourselves with the truth. Ouir children are in grave danger from sexual predators who are in our midst. It is a bit like the old murder mysteries where we know that someone in the room is the murderer but no one knows who it is for sure. God admonishes us to watch but most of us have been asleep when it comes to protecting our children.

    1. bnewvision says:

      Yes, I agree. This has been going on for GENERATIONS and we have to freely talk about the “taboo” and demand change. We can no longer pretend we don’t see what is going on, in order to protect an image. Too many children have suffered at the hands of an abuser. Healing has to come forth!

  2. Christy says:

    I know how much courage it takes to write something like this. 90% of children are abused by someone they know, trust, and love!

    Christy
    A Heartening Life – http://www.ahearteninglife.com

    1. bnewvision says:

      Thank you Christy for taking a moment to comment. I appreciate you!

  3. Congratulations on taking the courage to share your inner most secrets. It is hard, but you did it and now you can help others.

    1. bnewvision says:

      A therapist once told me that it only takes 10 seconds of courage. And he was right! Once I got passed the first 10 seconds of telling my story, the weight of the burden begain to lift.

  4. annmgab014 says:

    We are not alone. Although when we remember, we may often feel alone, but when I read your story, I am reminded that we are surviving together with God’s strength. God bless.

    1. bnewvision says:

      God Bless you too! Thanks!

  5. Very extremely proud of your boldness. I remember something about “child trafficking” in your story. Am I mistaken? I thought of you today and wanted to get your opinion on a blog I’ve written for Marylanders to consider about opening a Casino. If you have time to stop by, please feel free. https://ressurrection.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/casinos-and-child-sex-exploitation-what-maryland-voters-should-know-about-question-7/

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