It’s Time To Burn Your Cloak..

On April 5, 2012, I had the opportunity to share my story for the first time publicly as a guest on the Ravens Closet talk show, http://ravensclosettalkshow.com/ . I was so excited counting down the days to the day in which I called, my “Day of Emancipation”. The dictionary defines Emancipation, to be free from bondage, the condition of a slave. When I read this definition, I also looked up the definition of Proclamation, which means to be free from slavery and to declare it publicly. I truly had been a slave to the aftermath of childhood sexual abuse and also to my experience of being raped.

On April 4th, I had been going over my story and reviewing what I was going to say. As I was writing a flood of emotion suddenly came over me. I felt the anger rise up from the pit of my stomach. I thought I was going to literally jump out of my skin. Every emotion that I had tried to suppress and every bit of insecurity and fear came to the surface. I began to weep and shake uncontrollably.

Every excuse I had used to this point, was no longer going to hold me back from my freedom.  I knew I had to feel the pain, and the anger of the abuse. It was my right and I gave myself permission to release the shame, the guilt, the low self-esteem, the depression, the lack of trust, the nightmares and flashbacks, the overall feeling of “not being good enough”. I had carried this cloak long enough and I knew it was time for me to remove the cloak and declare power and freedom over my past.

I called my husband and shared my pain with him, I needed the support and for someone to just listen to me. I went off, not on him, but on everyone who had hurt me as a child. I expressed how I felt when my friend’s Grandfather touched me,  I expressed how I felt when I was molested in the closet by the babysitter’s daughter, I expressed how I felt when I was Raped in the front seat of a car. My husband lovingly and patiently allowed me to release that pain, without judgement.

I will never forget that moment of release on April 4th and I will never forget April 5th, in which I bravely shared my story. This is only my beginning and I will never carry the heavy cloak again.

I, Denise Boyd am a Survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse and Rape. Those inhumane, violent acts of betrayal againgst me as a child, tried to destroy me, but, with God, I know that All Things Are Possible and that My Healing will oneday be Complete.

Denise Boyd Copyright ©

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10 Comments Add yours

  1. Claire Cappetta says:

    Wonderful post! Congratulations on shedding your cloak 🙂

    1. bnewvision says:

      Hello Claire,
      Thank you so much!!

  2. nikky44 says:

    wonderful!! That is perfect. You did great. I didn’t yet. I can tell the facts, but I can’t talk about my emotions.
    Happy Easter!!

    1. bnewvision says:

      Thank you so much! It wasnt easy, but I am so happy I shared my story! I believe this to be one of the biggest steps towards complete healing! Just know I am cheering you along in your healing journey and believing the best for you! Happy Easter to you too!

  3. nyinspires says:

    I am truly inspired by your story Denise. I didn’t get a chance to say what I truly wanted to say on the show, because of the time. Sharing your story also gives me inspiration to keep going and let the past be the past. I still have growing also to do, as we all have growing to do in certain areas of our lives. Your story needed to be heard (live) in order to help others, and thanks so much for sharing.

    1. bnewvision says:

      Thank you. It really helps to have the support of people who can relate or empathize with my story.I am more determined than ever to move forward and I really hope to help others. Your spoken words are powerful and truly inspiring, hence the name nyinspires. You too are touching peoples lives, thank YOU for reaching out and being an encouragement.

      1. nyinspires says:

        Aww, thanks Denise I truly appreciate your kind thoughts. I have been through some major life changing events which has put me on this journey and I’m continually working on myself daily. I am so thankful that I can be of inspiration.

  4. You should be so proud of yourself for everything you have accomplished. You are truly on the right path. Keep moving forward and always believe and know that you have the strength needed to step into the light.

    1. bnewvision says:

      Thank you Michelle. This is where I know I am suppose to be at this time in my life. It is amazing how things begin to become clear, when we step out in faith and like your blog says get “Out of the Fog”. Thank you for cheering me along! Hugs to you!

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